Growing up, I was one of those kids who collected academic awards like skinned knees. It was easy for me to get high grades and copious praise from adults, which made me feel like a rockstar—in school, at least.
Once I graduated from the predictable structure, winnable standards*, and feedback loops of educational institutions, I no longer received the constant validation and praise that so frequently boosted my self-esteem and self-concept.
(*Notice my cis / hetero / white / able-bodied privilege here. As always, please note I bring you this perspective from the limited confines of my specific worldview.)
Then I quit my corporate job and started working for myself, which very nearly destroyed my professional self-esteem. I no longer had a steady diet of praise from anyone; I didn’t have a business card with a title somebody else gave me; I didn’t even make money on a regular basis. It was humbling, scary, and frankly a dynamic I was ill-prepared to handle emotionally.
If you identify with being a high performer, achiever, or perfectionist, you’ve probably experienced a similar fall from grace at various points in your professional or personal careers. At minimum, you’ve experienced the misery of being way too hard on yourself (with the bonus insanity of it happening inside your own head!).
In Episode 4 of Everyday Unicorn, I discuss our unconscious bias toward all things ‘extraordinary’ and how you’re likely to be holding yourself and your definition of success to impossible standards without even realizing it. I offer some exercises you can practice to release the tenacious hold of all-or-nothing thinking and perfectionism and develop the habit of feeling like successful—or simply good enough—without getting gold stars or straight As.
Tune in and you will:
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Unpack our cultural obsession with extraordinary achievements and success and how it shows up in your life.
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Orient your brain to find satisfaction in the ordinary moments of life, rather than constantly striving for extraordinary accomplishments.
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Perform simple exercises to identify what brings you relief, peace of mind, or pleasure, so you can feel more fulfilled on a daily basis.
Download Episode 4 on Spotify, iTunes, or here: https://elizabethhopederby.com/for-individuals/podcast/the-myth-of-extraordinary-success/
